Thursday, September 30, 2010

Starting over...

Sorry I forgot to log in last week and update!

I really cannot remember what my numbers were for last week, but I can update what was this week!
1. September 27, 2010 - start week 18
2. -3.6 pounds
3. 16.4 pounds lost total
4. Current weight: 174.4

I've been able to maintain my weight within 1-2 lbs for a month! Woohoo! To me, it's a really big accomplishment!

I've also been able to stave off the gorging while studying over the last two weeks, so I'm also pretty proud of that!

I don't really have much interesting to say today, it's been a rather uneventful couple of weeks... Maybe I'll cause some trouble this weekend so I have something to report back on Monday!

Oh, and super exciting news? I HAVE NO CLOTHING THAT FITS!!!! Looks like I have to go shopping!! Hmmm.... now where can I get some $$ for that? I've been living in track pants and scrubs simply because they have drawstrings! :)

Sunday, September 19, 2010

The Stress Monster is Back.

I did weigh in this past week, but I forgot to blog... So here we go:
1. September 13, 2010 - start week 16
2. +2.2 pounds
3. 12.8 pounds lost total
4. Current weight: 178.0

Yeah, the stress of school is taking a bit of a toll. and being sick didn't help too much either... Oh well, tomorrow's another day!

I just got an interesting phone call...

I was supposed to start my Bridal Bootcamp tomorrow, and someone from the fitness center just called me. Apparently, I was the only person who signed up! Seriously? Then she tells me that they are going to cancel the class because they can't run it with just one person.

I'm thinking, sure you can! It's called personal training!! Alas, no such luck.

But she had an offer for me. She runs a class that is similar to the Bridal Bootcamp and even though I don't actually "qualify" to take this class, she felt bad and wanted to bend the rules so that I could take the class.

So on Tuesday, I'm starting Mommy Bootcamp.

Hey, at least it's a bootcamp of some sort! :)

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Yeah, I had Hagaan Dasz for dinner... you got a problem with that?

This week has been interesting, to say the least. Apparently, it wasn't enough that I was starting classes again, but the universe decided to throw a cold at me too. Well, since I haven't been sick in over 3 years, I guess I was due...

Here's my rule of thumb: when you're sick, calories don't count. Eat what you can, when you can.

So while I haven't been binging per se, I have been eating pretty much what I wanted. Yes, I really did have ice cream for dinner for a couple days. And no, I don't feel bad about it.

Yesterday, after being cooped up in the house for a few days, I decided I needed to get out, no matter how crappy I felt. It was Labor Day, and since stores have sales, I went to Kohls' to see if I could find a second pair of jeans (I currently only have 1 pair that fits). In the fitting room, I had 2 pairs of Levi's, size 14 and size 12. I mostly grabbed the 12s to see how far I was from closing them.

I put on the 14s and they fit great on the waist. They were tight on the thigh, but that's what boot cut does no matter what size. I figured there was no point in trying on the 12s since there was little hope that I would get them up over my waist. I put on a couple shirts that I liked too and the larges were WAAAAAY too big! Bonus! So I was quite happy with being in size 14 jeans and having to buy medium shirts! Then I turned around. The size 14 jeans were still on the hanger.

"Did I bring in 2 size 14s??"

I furiously searched the jeans I was wearing to find the tag inside the pants (I don't trust the hanging tags).

Size 12.

Holy crap! I actually had to sit there for a second and process this. I was wearing a size 12 again. That did not compute! Just 3 months ago I was tight in size 16s, and now I'm in a 12???

My brain said "you should buy them because they're a size 12." I stood up and looked closely in the mirror to see how the jeans actually looked on me. While I would love to say that I looked fantastic in them, I can't. Bootcut jeans just make me look like I have an hourglass figure in my legs. I already have that figure on top, I don't need to add more curves at my knees and ankles, thank you very much. They were faded across the butt, with really big pockets, so they made my butt look big and my hips look funny.

I thought "I'm not going to buy them just because they're a size 12. They don't look good and make me look bigger than I am."

I happily put them back on the rack, exchanged the shirts for mediums and picked up a sweater I was eyeing instead.

I was thrilled to be in a size 12, but now I need to find the right cut of jeans. I am not working my flabby gut off to look bad in clothing that has a small tag size! I want to show off all my hard work in a positive way. No one sees the tag size but me anyway, so the number doesn't matter, it's how I look.

When I got home and stepped on the scale, I was pleasantly surprised to see that I didn't do any lasting damage while sick!

1. September 6, 2010 - start week 15
2. +.4 pounds
3. 15.0 pounds lost total
4. Current weight: 175.8

And today I signed up for Bridal Bootcamp, starting on the 20th! 10 weeks, 3 times a week! By Halloween, I'll be laughing at the size 12s!

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

3 Months Done!

Wow. I just re-read my first blog entry. I can honestly say that I barely remember how I was feeling. I know I was frustrated and ashamed, but you know how you can remember feelings? I can't re-feel what I was dealing with! In a good way.

While I know I am only partway through my journey, I feel amazing about where I am already. The pride I now feel when I look at myself in the mirror is something I have never felt before!

I had a lot of plans to go out with friends this past week, and in the past I would always find an excuse to not go. Truth be told, I just didn't want anyone to see me. I was ashamed and hated having to pretend to be having a good time when I would just rather be hiding in a corner. This week, I had SO MUCH FUN figuring out what to wear to see everyone!

I even bought new jeans, a size 14 (they fit beautifully, if not a little big). I was most excited that they weren't boot cut! Why on earth people think that adding more fabric on the bottom of the jeans "balances out" curvier girls I will never know! I got straight leg jeans and I look another 10 pounds lighter! My shoes are even getting big on me! I didn't even know my feet had gotten fat!!

I saw some girls from school the other day, and I haven't seen them since I was 195lbs. One of them even said to me that she could see the difference in my face! Hooray! I have a jawline and cheekbones again!

I have lost over 8 inches in total from all over my body! I have achieved my goal for this summer; wear short shorts in public and feel comfortable! I tried on some more wedding dresses and actually looked forward to it! :)

Even on days when I don't write down everything I've eaten, I'm still making the better choices and keeping track of it in my head. Except for last night when I turned into Cookie Monster and had my Festival of Shame on the couch. But I don't feel bad about it because I don't eat like that at all anymore, so one night of crazed, frenzied eating isn't going to kill me!

Now I'm starting a new chapter; back to school. As long as I can stay prepared and organized, I wouldn't have too much trouble staying on track! But I need to get moving more...

My end of summer numbers:
1. August 30, 2010 - start week 14
2. -2.6 pounds
3. 15.4 pounds lost total
4. Current weight: 175.4

Since starting WW in June, I have lost 15.4 pounds! Only 3.6 lbs from my 10% target! But, when I took my finals at the beginning of May, I was 195 lbs... so I can honestly and proudly say: I HAVE LOST 20 FREAKIN' POUNDS!!!!!!! Holy crap!!!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

A New (albeit disgusting) milestone!

Yesterday I was toying with the idea of going for a run. I haven't done that in a while so it seemed like a good idea. Alas, my running shoes were in The Hunnie's car and he was at work. Oh shucks. So I happily loafed on the couch killing brain cells with truly terrible television.

Today, just as I was making a nest on the couch for Truly Terrible Television: Day Two, The Hunnie came home and wanted to play XBox. I acquiesced and had a brilliant stroke of genius: I'll go for a run while he plays his game!  Before I could talk myself out of it, I changed and headed to the gym.

I decided it would be a brilliant idea to see how far I could push myself. I was feeling brave. Hell, I was wearing my short shorts and a tight running top! I looked like a runner, ergo I could be a runner!

Turns out, my quasi-logic was flawed, to say the least.

It started out good, simple warm up and started running at a brisk clip.

"Hmmm... I wonder how long I can keep running for?"

After 4 1/2 minutes, the sweat was pouring down my face. I hate to sweat. Ew. But I persevered and picked up the pace after 90 seconds.

5 more minutes goes by. I have lost all feeling in my face. And I'm dizzy. But, I've run a half mile straight in 5 minutes! Hooray!!  Hmmm.... Am I breathing anymore?

Okay, slow it down.

Time elapses and I have no idea what happened during these 10 minutes...

I regain mental focus and realize that I'm still running. That's a good sign, right? I decide that I've done really well and can just walk the rest of my time on the treadmill.

Just then, my new favorite empowering song comes on my iPod.

"I can do it. Just run for this whole song and you'll be done. The timing is perfect."

Just as the song is finishing, my stomach doesn't feel right. Uh oh. I think I'm going to throw up. I slow down, a lot, and attempt the 5 minute cool down process. Nope. That's not helping.  I stop completely, and take some deep breaths. Nope. Not helping either.

I can run to the bathroom right now and throw up, and lose my pride in the process... or, I can suck it up, walk the block home and if need be, leave my pride behind a bush. I chose the latter.

Fortunately, I was able to make it home with my pride still in my stomach and with 2 miles under my belt!

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go lay on the floor of the bathroom, as "my pride" is still not settled...

Moral of today's story?
 ~If The Hunnie wants to play his XBox while you are watching bad TV, buy a second TV and ignore the instinct to pretend you are Marion Jones.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Liposuction is sounding easier....

This last week, while a crap ton of fun, was not the best for my "bottom" line. I decided to pack as much fun as possible into 3 days, and much fun was had. But here is the age old question: how do you have fun without beer and crappy food??

I don't drink often anymore (too expensive and I'm just too damn busy), but I do enjoy a good cocktail when I get the chance. And this week, the opportunity presented itself on a fairly regular basis! So I threw caution to the wind and indulged in cocktails, pizza, mac n cheese, Italian beefs, fries, chocolate hazelnut gelato, real soda and of course, bacon. And now I am paying the price. I'm up from last week, and while it's not detrimental to my overall goals, it's screwing with my head! I feel like all I should be eating is water and lettuce this week to make up for it! I know how insane that sounds, but that's the truth!

After eating that delicious crap this week, I'm finding it really difficult to get back on track this week. All I can think about is eating more crap food! *sigh* And I can hear a voice telling me to give in to the glorious, greasy gluttony.

At one time, this was a self-defeating circle of hell, but I'm fighting to change that!

So far:
1. August 23, 2010 - start week 13
2. +2.0 pounds (I really hate that + sign...)
3. 12.8 pounds lost total
4. Current weight:  178.0

I'm off to eat a healthy dinner with the hunny!

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

I need to get better about updating...

It has been a little crazy for me lately, but I have managed to stay on track and keep weighing in!

Yesterday, before heading to weigh in, I realized that I have a pretty good grip on WW. I've gone for 10 weeks, weighing in and getting all the adivce and little weekly booklets, and I feel really confident in my abilities. I'm able to control myself, and to recognize what I should be eating and why I crave crap food sometimes.

In the last 2 weeks I have had some of my favorite foods, and you know what? I got really sick after eating them! I felt like crap after eating Wendy's, I thought I was going to throw up after the pizza. The Chinese food didn't bother me (good, because I LOVE Chinese food!!), but I also didn't eat much of it and I had loaded my plate with the less greasy foods.

I actually look forward to going to the market to try new veggies and fruits! I am realizing now just how efficient of a machine your body is once you put the proper fuel in it!

I am a little nervous about starting back at school next week, but I know that I can count on my girls there to help me stay away from the crap on campus! I really need to focus and make sure I pack a lunch from home so that I can still control what I'm eating.

My last weight update was from July 23rd, so here are the last 3 weeks (I'm just adding it all together):

1. August 16, 2010 - start week 12
2. -3.6 pounds
3. 14.8 pounds lost total!!
4. Current weight:  176.0

I really just might be able to hit my goal of 19 lbs by the end of August!!  I am so proud of myself!

The only bad thing about all this, is I have dropped over an entire size (I'm between a 12 and 14 now), and I have NOTHING that fits!  While that sounds like a good thing, it's really not because I don't have the money to go out and buy clothes that won't fit me in a month... So if any of my friends have size 12/14 clothing that they'd like to get rid of, I will happily take it!

And to my friends who are doing this with me - Keep going!  If I can do it and succeed, than you can too!  Cheers to our healthy new outlook on life!